Dark Solace Read online

  “Why didn’t you ever talk to me about that?” I interrupted.

  “I didn’t want to upset you in your pregnancy,” Devlin replied. “You had enough on your mind with The Lust and everything else that was happening.”

  What he was saying made sense. Danial had treated me much the same when we first lived together. Perhaps women of their time had been happy doing nothing and hearing only pleasant things. As for his work...well, I had been wrapped up in other problems. Knowing Dev could be torn down from his throne might have been enough to send me over the edge.

  “When you see someone once a week, you want the time to be purely enjoyable,” Dev added. “I wanted to be alone with you, to have you all to myself.”

  I’d relaxed him enough. If I was going to make my move, now was the time. “We are alone,” I said lightly, nestling my head into the hollow of his throat. “Do you really want to spend any more of this evening talking?”

  Devlin tipped my head up with his fingertips, so I looked at him. “What I want is to know why you chose tonight, Love.”

  He wasn’t as astute as Danial, but he was close enough. Mix in some truth. “You heard about the challenge?”

  Devlin nodded. “Frankly, I’m surprised Theo won. I’m sure you were relieved—”

  His sarcasm rankled me. “This isn’t about him,” I said angrily, grabbing his hand and pushing it away from my chin. “This is about us. Life is too short to hold grudges against people you love. I’m here because I want to be here with you.” That was the truth, just not the whole truth. “I’m scared, and I need you. If you don’t want me here, then just tell me to—”

  “I want you here,” he said quickly, hugging me tight.

  I hugged him back, then kissed his neck chastely.

  He caressed my arm with his fingertips lightly. “Do you believe I love you now?” he asked. “That I want you with me not just for tonight or tomorrow, but forever?”

  I wasn’t ready for an Oath tonight. “I believe we should take it slow,” I said softly, into his skin. “We need to—”

  “Do you believe me, Sarelle, when I say I love you?” Devlin said, holding my face in his hand, his golden eyes looking down into my green ones. “Do you believe me, when I say you are more than enough for me?”

  “Yes,” I responded. “I do.”

  “Do you still love me?” he asked, his eyes searching mine.

  “Yes,” I said softly, and kissed him passionately. “I want to lose myself in you—”

  Devlin kissed me roughly, his lips devouring mine. I pushed him back abruptly, then pulled off my clothes and shoes, dumping them in a pile. Devlin did the same, discarding his suit and shirt, then moved closer to embrace me, brushing his cheek with mine.

  “Where do you want me?” he said temptingly in my ear.

  I was caught off guard, then realized why he was asking. “In our bed,” I answered. I reached down and stroked his hardness, making him groan.

  “What would you like?” he asked, easing me down to the bed beneath him. “Do you want me to sing, or—?”

  I took his face in my hands. “I want you to do what you feel like doing,” I said, kissing his cheeks, mouth and eyes. “Just be with me, Dev.” I kissed him. “That’s all I want.”

  * * * *

  I’d forgotten how good sex could be with him. I’d wanted to, in my anger and pain.

  But Devlin made me remember with every kiss, every touch, every whispered “I love you.” And he remembered what I loved more than the poetry he quoted me, or the songs he sung me, or his expertise that had no equal. Devlin whispered as he made love to me, telling me everything he was feeling and how he had dreamed of me coming back to him every night, of finding me there waiting for him, of hearing my sighs as he touched me, or my cries as he gave himself to me over and over.

  When we were resting, I turned to him. “Why didn’t you bite me?”

  He gave me a devilish smile. “I was waiting for you to ask me to.”

  “Then I’m asking,” I replied, rolling on top of him and beginning to move.

  Devlin arched his back beneath me, a lazy smile gracing his handsome features as he clasped my hips. He moved purposely, his eyes watching me as I swayed above him in rhythm, my pleasure slowly building. As my climax neared, Devlin moved faster, his eyes fixed on me lustily, his fangs bared. Our rapid breathing intensified, my heart racing as the sweat beaded on my body.

  The climax hit, and I began to shudder, moaning. Devlin pulled me down, turning my head and sinking his fangs in. His body tensed suddenly, then his arms tightened around me. I begin to scream in bliss, the heady joy of orgasm suddenly escalating to white hot intensity.

  Devlin moved rapidly, straining against me, his body convulsing even as his muffled moans filled my ears.

  “Yes, please,” I whispered, my head lolling. “I’m yours, Dev. I’m yours!”

  Devlin drew back, then kissed me fiercely. Sweetness flooded my mouth, and I moaned, my tongue delving into his mouth as I pressed my lips hard against his, desperate for more.

  With a groan close to pain, Devlin pushed back from me, then kissed my bites gently. “Enough, Love. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  I nestled in his arms, my head on his chest, utterly content. Almost instantly, I dropped off to sleep.

  * * * *

  I yawned, then blinked, wondering where I was. Then I looked down at Devlin beside me, my face softening.

  Lash had been right. I’d have to thank him. I wouldn’t have given Devlin another chance, if he hadn’t made me. And it was right to be here in his arms. We belonged together. We were still Oathed, no matter what the choker had or hadn’t done. We had a child together. And we loved each other.

  In a small corner of my mind that had somehow not been influenced by Dev’s blood, I affirmed that aside from the emotional aspect, this alliance was rational. Theo and Danial were wonderful, but they didn’t have the power and respect Devlin wielded...and they knew it, which was why both of them had agreed rebonding to Devlin was necessary for my safety. In the struggle to come against Perseus and Samuel, his power was going to count for a lot...

  “Penny for your thoughts,” Dev whispered eerily, kissing my shoulder.

  I smacked him hard on his chest. “Stop being creepy,” I said, giving him a dark look.

  “I can’t help it,” he said, nibbling at my neck. “I’m very happy, Love, and I have always loved teasing you.”

  I didn’t answer.

  “What were you thinking? Something wildly inappropriate, as usual?”

  I knew about Harriet from Theo, but Devlin might have more information. He was likely the one who had actually talked to Samuel. “Theo told me about Harriet,” I replied hesitantly, testing the waters. “I’m wondering if they’re planning on trying for me again.”

  Devlin hugged me. “They’re demanding information. I told them of the different trials you faced in your pregnancies. So far, they’ve attributed their own failure with Harriet to bad luck.” He paused. “There is good news; Samuel sent his condolences about your ‘new barren state’—”

  Hope swelled inside me. “He bought it?”

  “Hook, line, and sinker,” Devlin said, smiling widely. “He’s stopped clamoring for me to share you with him. Once we give him your health records, we’ll be free of him.”

  “That will be such a relief,” I murmured.

  “For me, too,” Devlin affirmed resentfully. “I want them to fuck off, and this should make them get lost. They are never getting you, Sar. Never.”

  “Language,” I cautioned, putting my finger to his lips. “You are a father now.”

  “Sar, if I loved you for nothing else, I would love you for that,” Devlin said passionately. “Venus is everything to me now. I miss her if we are apart more than a few hours. I finally moved her crib to the nursery. I was waking her up by spending so much time touching her, and she needs to sleep. Serena is watching her at night. I have cut back on her other duties
a little, and she is enjoying the break.” He paused. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about her and me.”

  I shifted uneasily.

  “Truthfully, I had forgotten it happened. It wasn’t for pleasure, it was business—”

  “I’m good with that,” I said, covering his mouth. “You can stop now.”

  Devlin reached up and removed my hand. “Then will you give me your Oath again?”

  “Can you keep it this time?” I replied evenly. “If I should ever walk in on you again—”

  “I promise you, you won’t,” Devlin said quickly.

  “—ever again see you like that with someone else, there won’t be any more chances, Dev. I mean that.”

  “I’ve learned my lesson, Sar,” Devlin replied, laying his head on my chest. “It won’t happen again. But I’m not demanding your Oath, if you aren’t ready to give it.”

  That was a relief. But why wasn’t he? “I appreciate that,” I whispered finally.

  “I want you to,” Devlin assured quickly. “I just want you to know that I’ll protect you either way, and give you my blood when you need it, though the latter I’d prefer to administer during lovemaking, to ease the pain you feel—”

  That was the only reason, sure. “I appreciate that, too.”

  “Will you do it?” he pressed. “I have your choker here.”

  “Not right away,” I said firmly. “But I’ll come to stay with you as I did before, every week. If everything is still okay between us by the end of the year, I’ll Oath to you again then.”

  “I can wait,” Devlin said with surety. “I’ve waited this long. A few months won’t matter.”

  I ran my fingers through his hair. “It will go by in a blink.”

  Dev sighed. “With you, yes, it will. Are you staying tonight?”

  “Of course,” I answered. “Go back to sleep.”

  * * * *

  Danial was pleased that I’d made up with Devlin. He was more pleased that I would be renewing the Oath at the end of year. Still, it gave him a lot of pleasure that his was the only choker I would be wearing until then.

  Theo was less happy, but he stoically accepted it as necessary. We didn’t really talk about it much. Our time together was mostly taken up by caring for Devon, or discussing Elle’s future, the latter being a matter of shared concern.

  “She was playing with Devon all afternoon in cougar form,” I said to Theo one night, after Devon went to sleep. “I’m glad they get along so well, but I’m concerned with how big she is. The patches on her face are white now.”

  “She’s an adult,” Theo replied gruffly. “She looks almost exactly like Tawny, Sar. Elle could probably have a child herself now, if she mated and stayed in lion form.”

  I squeezed his hand, giving him worried eyes.

  “That’s why she’s so provocative,” Theo continued. “She’s getting the urge from her lion half to mate, and it’s bleeding through to her human form, intensifying her desires.”

  “What are we going to do?” I asked.

  “Take it as it comes,” he said with a shrug. “There isn’t anything else we can do. She’s going to grow up, Sar. There’s no stopping it.”

  “I know that,” I said, annoyed. “I just wish she’d gotten a little longer to be a child. I love Devon’s looks of wonder, those huge blue eyes of his taking in everything. I love his spots, the way his ears perk up at the slightest sound. I want his childhood to last a while, Theo. Elle’s was too short—”

  “We’ll have longer with Devon. I’ll help him change form in a few weeks. I want him to appear as a human child that is at least a year or two old when he first becomes human, to lessen the time he’s helpless. But after he knows how to walk, we can let him remain human, so he ages a lot more slowly.” He stroked my hip gently. “I’m almost fully healed.”

  I’d pulled out the last of Theo’s stitches that day. With each one, I’d thanked Lash for saving him, then prayed for some peaceful, boring years. I wanted time with Devon as a child, time for Theo to get those experiences that he’d missed having with Elle. We’d all had enough drama and excitement lately to last us a decade or so.

  * * * *

  I drove to Hayden early Friday morning. After I parked my truck, I pulled on my gloves, then grabbed my gear from the truck bed. Time to get after those fallen trees.

  I walked down by the edge of the low stone wall, carrying my chainsaw in my right hand, and the lube and gas mixture in my left hand. My tools were in the saw’s case along with extra chains, in case one broke. My mind was ruminating on my conversations with Terian over the past week, prepping for a report to Titus.

  Terian was gaining in power and confidence. Yet in spite of his boldness, I didn’t see any traces of evil behavior to report. In fact, I preferred this new, daring Terian of action to the old reluctant Terian who’d been afraid of what he was.

  There was a sudden throaty roar of heavy machinery. Excited, I hurried down the path towards it.

  Lash had the bears out in force today. Several were picking up sticks and branches and mulching them, another was working on a front-end loader moving mud, and five more were standing around one crouched down, sawing one of the huge logs. I watched for a moment curiously, wondering why the scene was so quiet. Then it hit me; the dumb ass had bound his saw.

  The mechanics of chainsawing wood are simple: one whole log becomes two and both obey gravity. When a long and wide chunk of wood is on the ground and that ground is uneven, the wood can shift as it is cut, closing the cut until the blade of the saw is bound between the two pieces of wood. That had happened to the werebear, imprisoning his blade. It was now buried deep in the three-foot-wide trunk.

  Tugging was not going to work, even with supernatural strength. I laughed to myself, then walked over nonchalantly with a solemn face.

  Lash came over to meet me. “Sar,” he said, nodding once.

  “I brought my saw. Where should I start?” I asked innocently.

  Lash folded his arms and looked at me, clearly dubious. “You sure you want to do this?” he hissed. “You wouldn’t rather be relaxing in bed?”

  “Let’s not have this same conversation again,” I interjected. “Just tell me what you want done first.”

  “First, tie your shoe,” he said, smirking. “I want you not to trip and fall.”

  “Lash!” one of the bears called. “The blade isn’t coming free.”

  Lash hissed in irritation, then walked away scowling. “I told you to lever it up.”

  I put my saw down, annoyed, and crouched down in the soft mud to double knot my steel-toed boot. As I went to stand, I slipped sideways and caught myself, smearing my work shirt sleeve in muck.

  I brushed it off the best I could. No big deal. I’d just get dirtier before the day was over. I was looking forward to that actually. I hadn’t done real physical work in a long time. Besides, it was a beautiful summer day: a perfect day for working.

  There was another roar from the front-end loader. The operator had made rapid progress. The fallen rock wall was quickly being fixed, water receding as the huge rocks blocking one of the drainage ditches were moved one by one.

  The werebear and his pals were still trying to get the bound sawblade free. But the tree was huge, a good hundred feet long with roots and branches still attached. Even with their combined strength, all they could do was roll it over, making the saw’s handle and engine go up in the air as the blade remained bound. They tried this several times, with the same result. In short, it was hilarious. Since no one had asked for my help, or told me what to do, I remained where I was, watching and smirking. It was good for men to know humility.

  Another throaty roar sounded, turning my attention from the tree back to the tractor. The werebear moving fallen rocks was almost done. The last one was safely in the loader, the tractor straining under the weight, the tires almost flattened in the front. The operator dropped the rock with the others, the front tires springing back up as the load lightene
d. Then, to my surprise, the tractor headed back to the ditch.

  Curious, I walked towards it. What was he up to?

  As the operator parked at the very edge of the ditch and lowered the loader down into it, my eyes opened wide with horror. He was going after a boulder sunk deep into the mud of the bottom of the ditch. Not only would the loader overbalance picking up the rock, he’d be lucky if it didn’t pin him under it when it fell in.

  I sprinted towards the tractor, yelling. “Hey! Stop! Stop!”

  Either he didn’t hear me over the engine or he didn’t listen. The operator reached down with the loader for the rock, scooped carefully under it, and went to lift it.

  “Hey! Don’t go for the last rock!” I yelled desperately.

  The rock came free from the bottom of the ditch, as the operator slowly raised the dripping loader. He levered it up just enough to clear the ditch edge.

  “What are you yelling for?” Lash said irritably from beside me. “He’s got it.”

  “No, he’s going to—”

  The operator went to shift gears to back up. The rock rolled sideways in the loader and the wheels promptly slid forward, the front-end of the tractor slipping down into the ditch.

  “—fall in,” I finished.

  “Christ, could anything go more wrong today?” Lash hissed loudly. “Jazz already broke one chain, and cut himself so badly he had to take off the rest of the day.”

  “Why do none of you know what you’re doing?” I said, trying hard to make my tone nonjudgmental.

  Lash narrowed his flat eyes. “I know what I’m doing, Sar. As for the bears, they’re doing the best they can.”

  I gave him an incredulous look. “Then their best isn’t good enough. They need training.”

  “I used to have a crack team for this kind of shit,” Lash hissed, looking at me meaningfully. “They’re all dead. You remember Kev and Vince, I’m sure?”

  I narrowed my eyes, wondering why he was being an asshole. “Dev has enough money to hire talent outside his guards for—”